Is There A Poorer Sportscaster than Phil Simms?
And secondly, is there a worst NFL broadcaster than CBS? Rhetorical and rhetoric, I know. And yes, this is a rant, so please let this be a catharsis for me.
First lets go with CBS. There's not another channel that squeezes in more commercials, most for their own shows, during a broadcast. There are times when we cut back to the game just when the ball is being snapped. And every timeout, every pause in the game, every chance to do some analysis, they throw up a graphic of some lame CBS show and have to talk about it. Next time pay attention to how much this happens, just terrible.
And speaking of terrible, how many times do they have to play that CBS NFL sports "stab"? That's the little 16 note thing they play over and over and over. After every commercial, before halftime, after halftime, as they show replays. It's so boring and repetitive. Compare that to NBC (my favorite NFL broadcaster) who plays current music, usually reflective of what's going on in the game, going into commercial or coming out of commercial.
Now let's get to Phil Simms. I realize he's paired up with Nantz, who isn't Mr. Sparkling innovative commentator. But just the way Simms speaks is grating. He fills the broadcast with words, often that don't make sense. For example, during last night's Pats/Broncos he said "Jim, that's what competent quarterbacks do. They throw to competent receivers." Huh? I guess that sort of makes sense. And he puts emphasis on words, like: "Jim, he WAS WIDE open and Brady put the BALL right where it needed to BE". I honestly get depressed when a decent game is on CBS. And his little "Simms Spotlight" usually focuses on obvious stuff like "Get more yards on a run" or "complete more passes".
And how about commentators who repeat the QB's name over and over and over? During the Saints/49errs, it was DrewBrees this and DrewBrees that and he's so the best QB ever and even when he misthrows DrewBrees is fantastic and DrewBrees. At least with Tom Brady they sometimes say Brady in place of Tom Brady. To me this is reminscent of BrettFavre. They would always say his full name over and over and over. As if there's another Farve on the field or on any team. Favre was Madden's favorite, and so he would repeat the full name over and over. I recall counting once that he said BrettFavre 8 times between two plays.
Which leads me to the second worst broadcast, ESPN. At least Kolheiser is gone. But Gruden is terrible. Again, he just chatters on and on. Every player is the best he's seen at that position or any position. He says that about at least 5 players each week. While I like that he calls Manning the Sheriff, his insight is usually that any particular player is the best at that position. His odd Chucky look worries me a bit, like we'll cut back to booth and see Jaworski lying headless on the floor and Gruden covered in blood.
NFL network is not too bad. They are like the local TV News channel. They are okay, and I cut them slack because they're new to this (not really new, I know). Their graphics in the game were done by a 12 year old kid of one of the producers. But that's fine. The have odd commentators sometimes that I don't recognize. But their broadcast is generally low key, and since they don't have a lot of sitcoms or dramas on their network, they don't do the CBS spiel about other shows coming up.
Fox Sports is okay, except for their halftime bunch. You know, Terry Bradshaw and that crew. It's all haw haw haw and "I kissed a squirrel" and such. Hi-lar-i-ous. They usually have okay commentators like Joe Buck or Troy Aikmen. Their little robot guy "Cleatus" is pretty cool I guess. I'm stretching here.
My favorite happens to be NBC. I like Al Michaels. I liked John Madden. He was really funny to listen to and had such odd stories from NFL history. He'd make embarassing statements and Michaels would have a hard time not laughing. Once Madden said, and I kid you not: That running back was setup to run thru the B-hole but instead cut back and went into the A-hole. Michael's replied dryly: that sounds about right. I laughed out loud. Michaels to me is a great #2 because he has access to stats that are mind boggling. He's smart and funny, and is so comfortable that it's a very cool rhythm he and Collingsworth get into. The broadcast includes scenes of local food and restaurants, and the city. The music is often contemporary. And while they squeeze in lots of commercials early on, that's so later in the game (late in Q4), there are really not so many commercials. I'm in the minority because I like Chris Collingsworth. I have to look past his bro-mance for the Patriots and Tom Brady, but he actually analyzes the plays and quickly circles players on replays and points out things I would have missed. When a player gets laid out by a block, he laughs and replays that play (which I appreciate). When Brandon Jacobs runs over a defender (happens about 8 times per game), Collingsworth will say "Oh good Lord, take a look at this" and replay it. I like that. The half-time couple of Dungy and Harrison is also a good setup since they are opposites and played against each other for so many years. I enjoy the tension when they disagree, and I also think Dungy does a good job with showing key plays.
Okay, sorry for going on and on. I recently saw a SI poll on the worst commentators and was shocked to see Collingsworth at #1 or #2, and Simms way down at 10.
Most of you guys are more versed in NFL than I am - what do YOU think?
And secondly, is there a worst NFL broadcaster than CBS? Rhetorical and rhetoric, I know. And yes, this is a rant, so please let this be a catharsis for me.
you meant "worse" instead of "worst"
but yeah phil simms sucks as does collinsworth.
i personally have no patience for joe buck.
Collinsworth is tefribly annoying, but I think Colts fans hate Simms waayyyy more cuz, and lets be honest, hes a Manning/Colts hater and has been for years. You could say hes toned it down a bit but its still there
Always good to start a day off with a few laughs -- nice work.
Another thing to watch for in the field of awful announcing, especially now that we're down to the SB -- everyone is "one of the top XXX in the league". ie, XXX is "one of the top WRs" in the league or XXX is "one of the hardest hitting safeties in the NFL." These extreme statements seem to grow exponentially in the post-season, as if we'll all of a sudden forget about the other players in the league who are actually top players at said position.
I agree that Al Michaels has the market cornered on sportscasting, but I'm no Collinsworth fan. Even the sound of his voice makes me want to shiv myself in the groin with a rusty tool. Maybe they should pair Michaels with Gus Johnson. Now that would be entertaining.
@matt_has You heard it a lot last week in the Pats/Ravens game. And while I can see why Collinsworth can be annoying, I just like that he points out, on almost every play, specific players to look for. It's like as soon as each play is over, he's immediately watching the replay off screen.
On the other hand, Nantz will say to Simms, "looked like some defensive stunts there" and Simms will answer with some generic crap like "yes, Jim, that's what the defense is going to have to do to win this game for the offense" - and that's it.
And there's no one who thinks every player is the greatest than Jon Gruden. Yeeesh!
Man I cant watch Gruden and that crew. Not only does Gruden like every player at every position but he and his crew get off on weird tangents like "the color of the interior of a car" at the same time that the game is going on. How about making some comment on the actual play or whats going on on the field.... buddy. If i wanted to hear about colors and cars and jets and shoes I would not be in front of the TV watching a Football game and instead I would switch to TMZ.
Just adding to your rant :)
Joe Back and Troy Aikmen did a great job, I think, on the Pack/G'ints game. Go Giants! I was happy that they said "bad call" on the fumble that was overturned, rather than tippy toe around. And they brought in the Fox former head of officiating and he did tippy toe saying "we don't know what he's seeing from his perspective".
What was it, two bad calls (roughing the passer and the fumble)? I have nothing personally against the Packers. Rodgers seems okay. But I get tired of hearing of them. It was almost a trifecta for me: Saints out, Packers out - all I needed was a Tebow miracle to get the Pats out. Hopefully the Ravens can shame them again at home. But the Ravens don't seem as potent as the last time the two played.
As for the 49ers and the Giants, I really wouldn't mind seeing either of them in the SuperBowl. But I think the Giants are the only ones who could take the Patriots at this point.
There's no G in Collinsworth.
Collinsworth is the best, even despite his smarminess, because he explains so much more to the viewer than anyone else. By a lot. Only Mayock comes close. Mora and Billick, being coaches, could be that good, but thus far have chosen not to be.
Pretty much all the rest of them suck. Especially Simms and Dierdorf. I'm not sure CBS employs even one halfway competent color guy. I guess Gannon. He has really improved in recent years, both on TV and on the radio. The rest know football, or at least did, but choose not to expose us to any of that knowledge, instead speaking in cliches and getting excited for no reason.
My favorite was earlier today when Simms was talking about a replay review in the Ravens-Texans game. I hadn't seen the play and wasn't facing the TV, but told people "oh, so I guess that means it will be upheld" because Simms was disagreeing with the call. I wasn't even joking. And sure enough, it was a quick review and the ref trotted out and confirmed the call. Not just "call stands" (which means there's not enough to overturn it), but "confirmed."
@WillyDuer Ya, of course you're right about the "G". I think I naturally mispronounce it with a G.
I forgot Dierdorf. Also very poor.
NFL Network is very, very low rate. Probably worse than CBS. Every single commercial break there are at least 2 promos for their other shows. And they run the same spots over and over. Even moreso than CBS. And their studio show is full of a bunch of self-congratulatory blowhards.
If they were truly low-rate, they wouldn't have that issue. They re-air the same commercials because noone else buys ads (because it's STILL not 100% national after all this time). If their rates were lower, perhaps sponsors would.
@WillyDuer@thejoshbaker I switched from Brighthouse cable for a number of reasons (lack of quality, poor customer service, cost) but one of the major ones was no NFL network. The two can't seem to agree to a rate package. It's pretty silly. U-verse has been pretty good. Some initial installation problems, and a cut cable, but otherwise pretty solid, by the way. I wanted to check out the Verizon one, er - I can't remember the name right now, but it's not in my area yet. They also have NFL network.
@buymymonkey@WillyDuer@thejoshbaker Dump cable, Satelite is better, plus both Dish's have the NFL network
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You are correct- he sucks. Nice to see you over here btw- I got banned from SB for writing and posting a poll to see who is a bigger a-hole- BBS or Polian. Ha.
I vote BBS by the way.
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I should correct that. I don't think BBS is an asshole. I think he writes in such a slanted manner that his stories are unusable His rails against Polian were so personal and so over the top that it became really ridiculous. Stories that had nothing to do with Polian had something in there slamming the guy.
And the worst thing is that Polian was fired and BBS I'm sure thinks he had some hand in it. I tried numerous times to suggest that maybe he should stop with the Polian bashing, but he continued and was supported by folks like Ayershire. Just got to be ridiculous. There are a few good writers on there like nopuninteded and mgrex and Stew. But I prefer it here. The dialog here is much more civil and intelligent.
@buymymonkey@VermVerm Ayshire was BBS's, brown nosing lapdog, I swear you'd think they are the same person
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@VermVerm LOL! Same here - good to see, er, read you. I can't believe you got that banned, but that's a pretty funny poll. I agree, BBS. That site has really gone down here. I'm so glad we have Colts Authority. I was worried before because BBS had stories more quickly than 18to88, but on this site it looks like a steady stream of articles. Good stuff.
Thanks for reading and commenting! :-)
