This is part two of our look back at Bill Polian's drafts with the Colts.  Today we'll look at 2002-2005. These were the drafts that laid the foundation for the Super Bowl team.  Remember that when grading a draft, you have to consider not only the stars that were selected, but how many guys made the team and how many actual games the team got out of their draft.  Not ever guy can become an All Pro, but the ability to draft guys who contribute is important.

After I finish with the Colts (today or tomorrow), we'll look at the other four power teams of the decade (Ravens, Eagles, Steelers, and Pats).

2002

Total picks: 8

Made team: 7

Total Games Played for Colts: 286 (and counting)

Total Pro Bowls:  5 (Freeney-5)

Best pick:  Dwight Freeney

Worst pick:  Joe Jefferson

Starters drafted: Freeney (8 seasons), Tripplett (2 seasons), David Thornton (3 seasons)

Could have have had:

Instead of Tripplett:  Clinton Portis (2nd)

Instead of Joe Jefferson:  Brian Westbrook (3rd), Chris Hope (3rd)

Instead of Brian Allen:  Chester Taylor (6th)

Summary and grade:  A.  Considering how controversial the Freeney pick was, there's no other way to grade this draft.  Any time a team gets one of the three best players in its history at the 12th pick AND gets ripped for it, it's a good day.  Again, 7 of 8 players taken made the team.  The only bad picks were Jefferson and Allen both of whom were taken over better players at their positions (Hope and Taylor).  Overall, it's a hard draft to nitpick.  A true game changing rusher and two other other starters is a respectable haul from what was a top loaded draft.

2003

Total picks: 8

Made team: 8

Total Games Played for Colts: 378 (and counting: Clark, Mathis)

Total Pro Bowls:  4 (Clark 1, Mathis 2, June 1)

Best pick:  Robert Mathis

Worst pick: Donald Strickland

Starters drafted: Dallas Clark (7 seasons), Mike Doss (3 seasons), Donald Strickland (1 season), Steve Sciullo (1 season), Mathis (6 seasons), Cato June (3 seasons)

Could have have had:

Instead of Clark: Nambi Asomuga (1st round)

Instead of Doss:  Lance Briggs (3rd round), Jason Whitten (3rd round)

Instead of Strickland:  Terrance McGee (4th round), Asante Samuel (4th round)

Summary and Grade: A.  This draft should be an A+ simply because of Mathis in the 5th round and 6 starters taken, not to mention 378 total games played for the Colts.  However, as much as I love Dallas Clark, you have to think the Colts would have been a better team had they taken Asomuga in the first round and Whitten in the second.  Whitten is every bit the threat Clark is, and Asomuga is the best corner in football, and has been for several seasons now.  Still, this kind of draft is the motherload.  Three Pro Bowl caliber players (two selected late) and a slew of starters is a total haul for any team.

2004

Total picks: 9

Made team: 8

Total Games Played for Colts: 251 (and counting: Sanders)

Total Pro Bowls:  2 (Bob Sanders)

Best pick:  Bob Sanders

Worst pick: Kendyll Pope

Starters drafted: Bob Sanders (4 seasons), Gilbert Gardner (1 season), Jason David (3 seasons), Jake Scott (4 seasons)

Could have have had:

Instead of Hartsock: Chris Cooley (3rd round)

Instead of Gardner:  Matt Schuab (3rd round)

Instead of Kendyll Pope: Jerrad Allen (4th round)

Summary and Grade: B.  This was a solid draft that produced four starters, including Bob Sanders.  It was a top heavy draft, but the Colts largely maximized their picks.  Hartsock over Cooley was a bit of a whiff.  It's easy to understand why the Colts took Gardner over Schaub in third round, but that was obviously disastrous.  The only pick that I'm sure Polian would like back was Kendyll Pope over Jerad Allen in the fourth round, but I think a lot of people would like that pick back  Jim Sorgi was in this draft as well.  Overall, this draft gets down graded because despite producing a game changer, on the whole the Colts got fewer games out of it than any of the others, and because there were a couple of obvious misses.

2005

Total picks: 10

Made team: 8 (Vincent "Sweet Pea" Burns made the team but was injured and never played)

Total Games Played for Colts: 275 (and counting: Hayden, Hagler)

Total Pro Bowls: 0

Best pick:  Kelvin Hayden

Worst pick: Vincent Burns

Starters drafted: Marlin Jackson (2 seasons), Kelvin Hayden (3 seasons), Dylan Gandy (1 season), Tyjuan Hagler (1 season)

Could have have had:

Instead of Jackson: Lofa Tatupu (2nd), Nick Collins (2nd)

Instead of Hayden: Justin Tuck (3rd)

Instead of Burns: Kyle Orton (4th), Brandon Jacobs (4th), Jerome Mathis (4th), Marion Barber (4th)

Instead of Matt Giordano:  Trent Cole (5th)

Instead of David Rayner:  Jay Ratliff (7th)

Summary and grade: B-.  Not the strongest draft, in part because of Jackson's knee problems.  The real air ball was Vincent Burns, who was taken over several players who went on to significant NFL success.  The most frustrating part of the 2005 draft is that there were several excellent pass rushers available who were not selected.  The 2007 and 2009 seasons might have ended very differently if this draft had gone better.  Still, the Colts pulled down several starters and will likely post more than 300 total games played from this class.  It wasn't a bad draft so much as a missed opportunity.

With the NFL draft upcoming, it's time for a retrospective on Bill Polian's 12 drafts as GM of the Indianapolis Colts.  Today, we'll look at 1998-2001.  These were the Jim Mora Colts.

1998

Total picks: 7

Made team: 5

Total Games Played for Colts: 340 (and counting)

Total Pro Bowls:  10 (Manning-10)

Best pick:  Peyton Manning

Worst pick: EG Green

Starters drafted: Manning, Steve McKinney (four seasons), Jerome Pathon (two seasons)

Could have have had:

Instead of Pathon: Flozell Adams (2nd), Patrick Surtain (2nd) Samari Rolle (2nd).

Instead of Green:  Hines Ward (3rd round)

Instead of Aaron Taylor (7th): Ephrim Salaam (9 year starter at tackle for the Falcons).

Summary and grade:  A+.  Obviously, hitting the Manning pick correctly was the key to the draft.  Pathon wasn't a great pick in the second round, but he did out perform all the WRs taken until Hines Ward went late in the third round.  Obviously Green over Ward is a pick Polian would like to have back.  McKinney was among the five or six best players in the final four rounds of the draft, so it's hard to argue with that pick.

1999

Total picks: 7

Made team: 5

Total Games Played for Colts: 398

Total Pro Bowls:  4 (James-4)

Best pick:  Edgerrin James

Worst pick: Paul Miranda

Starters drafted: James, Peterson (four seasons), Hunter Smith  (ten seasons), Brad Scioli (two seasons)

Could have have had:

Instead of Paul Miranda:  Aaron Smith (4th round), Roosevelt Colvin (4th round)

Summary and Grade: A+.  The only real black mark on this draft was the tragic death of Brandon Burlsworth.  The Colts' third round pick was killed in a car accident shortly after the draft.  This was a highly productive April for Polian and company.  The Colts pulled down three solid starters and a perennial all star in Edge James.  The only pick (besides Burlsworth) not make the team was 7th rounder Corey Terry who was the 4th from last player taken.  Ironically, the last player selected was Jim Finn, who would later join the Colts for several seasons.  When the only second guessing is over fourth round linebackers, you've had a good run.

2000

Total picks: 7

Made team: 5

Total Games Played: 305

Total Pro Bowls:  1 (Marcus Washington-1 with Washington Redskins)

Best pick:  Marcus Washington

Worst pick: Matt Johnson (round 5)

Starters drafted: Rob Morris (5 seasons), Washington (3 seasons), David Macklin (2 seasons), Josh Williams (3 seasons)

Could have have had:

Instead of Rob Morris:  Keith Bullock (first round), Mike Brown (second round)

Instead of Matt Johnson:  Shane Lechler (5th), Kabeer Gabaja-Biamila (5th round) Dante Hall (5th round)

Summary and Grade:  B. There was no huge breakout star for the Colts in this draft, but it's hard to argue with too many of the players selected.  This simply wasn't a great draft in general.  Morris never became a star in part because the Colts switched systems, and he was ill suited to play MLB.  In the end, he became a important part of the Super Bowl team.Washington was a very good player with the Colts and went on to play well in Washington.  Macklin was never very good, nor was Josh Williams, but both made the team and played heavily, so that is a form of value.  Even though there no huge stars in this draft, it's hard to look back in hindsight and second guess most of the picks.  Remember, the 2000 draft saw a kicker taken in the first round, and the best QB was Chad Pennington.  In another year, this would be a C or a C+ draft, but considering what there was to work with, the Colts did ok.

2001

Total picks: 7

Made team: 7

Total Games Played: 452 (and counting-Diem and Wayne)

Total Pro Bowls:  4 (Wayne-4)

Best pick:  Reggie Wayne

Worst pick: Idrees Bashir (second round)

Starters drafted: Wayne (9 seasons), Bashir (4 seasons), Diem (9 seasons), Demulling (3 seasons)

Could have have had:

Instead of Wayne:  Chad Johnson (2nd round)

Instead of Bashir: Ken Lucas (2nd round), Kris Jenkins (2nd round) Fred Smoot (2nd round), Shaun Rodgers (2nd round), Adrian Wilson (3rd round), Steve Smith (3rd round)

Instead of Jason Doering: TJ Houshmanzada (7th round)

Summary and Grade: B+.  This might seem low for a draft that included Reggie Wayne, but the 2001 draft was super deep.  Houshmanzada, Chad Johnson, and Steve Smith were all taken after Wayne.  You could argue that as long as the Colts were taking a receiver late in the first round, they had a pretty good chance of landing a good one.  Of course, they knew that too, which is why they traded down before drafting Wayne.  Wayne and Johnson have interesting parallels, but it's possible to argue that Smith was the best of the three.  The pick of Bashir is especially bad in hindsight simply because of the sheer number of very good players still available.  On the other hand, the Colts ended up keeping all seven players drafted, and the 2001 draft produced more games played for the Colts than any of the other drafts measured to date. Four starters is a good haul for any April.  All in all, it was a good draft in a good year to draft.

I don't know how I'm ever going to get over that one.

Losing the Super Bowl hurt, but there was a lot to mitigate it.  The Colts still have a great team.  They should be back next year.  They lost to a great team in a fluky game.  Whatever.  It stings, but it's not the end of the world.  At least the got there, proving that so many stupid theories about the Colts and the playoffs were just pointless blather.

This though...

Butler losing to Duke has sent psychic shock waves back through my past.  I've spent all morning walking around wondering how my life would be different if Keith Smart had missed his shot.  Growing up, I watched two VHS tapes more than any others.  One was Hoosiers (the McDonald's edition) and the other was my recording of the 1987 Final Four.  We bought our first VCR the afternoon before IU played UNLV.  I've watched those two tapes at least 50-100 times each.

Despite a lifetime of reinforcement that the last shot goes down, my eyes saw that ball hit the board, the rim, and the floor without ever touching net.  My eyes saw it, but my heart doesn't believe it still.

I saw the Duke kids celebrating (the fans, not the players), and I despised them.  I've never been anti-Duke until that moment.  I wanted to scream, "YOU FRAUDS!  That was the weakest national championship run of all time!  You are celebrating that the world was denied the greatest sports moment possibly of all time!"  It was all so wrong.  They were danced while the rest of the world mourned, and I will NEVER forget or forgive Duke for that.  Enjoy your title, South Bend Central.  Bastards.

Now, the next morning, I'm struggling for perspective.  I loved the words of Brad Stevens about the greatness of the accomplishment not depending on the bounce of the ball.  I wrote something frighteningly similar in my book (which now no one will ever believe I wrote a year ago...I'm glad a few of you out there have already read it and can vouch for me.  When it comes out soon, you all have to know that I haven't changed a word of it). Still, though part of me knows that the Bulldogs will be loaded for bear next year, I also know that the tournament is a crap shoot, and even if they have the best team in the country, there's no guarantee they'll win it all.

I'm still bitter about so many moments, especially the lack of an intentional foul call on the hard foul of Hayward in the final minutes.  The officials missed the call, that's fine, but what makes me irate was Clark Kellog's irrational defense of the officials.  "He was going for the ball!" he said repeatedly, while the replay kept showing that at no time did he ever come close to contacting the ball in the process of dragging Hayward to the ground.  Like I said, bad calls happen, but come on, Clark.  Don't lie to us when we can watch the same video.

Mostly it's all just bitterness and disappointment.  I talked to my brother this morning; he wouldn't answer the phone last night.  "I wasn't ready to get this heavily invested in anything so soon," he said.  I know how he feels.  One heartbreak I can deal with.  That's the nature of life.  This world is a cosmic riff on suffering and tragedy.  You can't win them all, as they say.

Still, I would have liked to have won this one.  On a list of the worst losses of my life, this is right there with the '95 playoffs and '05 playoffs, the Pacers losing game 7 to the Knicks in '94, IU losing in the '92 Final Four, and Pike High losing the county baseball championship 6-5 in 1995.  By the way, in that game, I grounded out with runners on second and third and two outs in the sixth.  We lost on a crazy line drive double play with two on and one out in the seventh.  That's probably the worst loss because I had my chance to do something about it. This is second or third worst though.

I don't know how I'm going to get over this one.

Go Dogs!

18. Sun don't shine on the same dog's ass everyday, but, mister you ain't seen a ray of light since you got here.

17. Ref: You need one more, coach.
My team's on the floor!

16.  Strap, God wants you on the floor

15.  Use the force, Jimmy.

14. Stick with your man. Think of him as chewing gum. By the end of the game, I want you to know what flavor he is! (Dentyne)

13. George: I don't know why Cletus drug your tired old bones in here, he musta owed you somethin' fierce. Fact is, mister, you start screwin' up this team, I'll personally hide-strap your ass to a pine rail and send you up the Monon Line!

Coach: Leave the ball, will you, George?

12. Shooter: Son, oh I wish I could be there.

I'll be thinking of you.

Shooter: Son, kick their butt.

11. I think you'll find it's the exact same measurements as our gym back in Hickory

10. I didn't think I could cut it the other night, either, but after what Jimmy did, it would take the Indiana National Guard to get me out of here

9.  No school this small has ever been to the State Championship!

8. "Hit it, Jimmy!"-yelled by the lady behind me in the theater the night the movie opened.

7.  We're way past big speech time

6. Welcome to Indiana basketball.

5.  Now, boys, don't get caught watching the paint dry

4. Coach: What's gotten into you?

Strap: The Lord! I can feel His strength!

Coach:Well... keep His strength in the dribble alright?

3.  Let's win this one for all the small schools that never had a chance to get here.

2.  Look, mister, there's... two kinds of dumb, uh... guy that gets naked and runs out in the snow and barks at the moon, and, uh, guy who does the same thing in my living room. First one don't matter, the second one you're kinda forced to deal with.  (I use this quote on a weekly basis)

1.  And David put his hand in the bag and took out a stone and slung it. And it struck the Philistine on the head and he fell to the ground. Amen.

Last week, I made an offhanded comment about the Colts trading for the rights to draft Ndamukong Suh, the super tackle out of Nebraska.  I dismissed it unless some team was willing to give up the rights to Suh for a first and second this year a first next year.

I want to illustrate exactly why that is such a ludicrous offer.

First, let's assume for a moment that the obvious best player in the draft falls to slot #3.  Why 3?  Because if he were to go in the first two picks, the scenario is even more ridiculous.  Now, there are many charts of draft pick value, but using the NFL standard (which not every team adheres to), the third overall pick is worth 2200 points.

How much is 2200 points?  Well, the Colts entire 2010 draft is worth less than 1200 points.  Such is the hazard of drafting 31st.

For the scenario I laid out, the Colts would be giving up 600 points (this year's first), plus 276 points (this year's second), plus the value of the Indianapolis first round pick next year.  It's notoriously difficult to judge the value of future picks, but many people just discount them by a round.  So even if the Colts got especially good value for the 2011 future first, it would still only be worth about 500 points.

So those three picks would add up to about 1376 points.  In exchange for a 2200 point pick that could be used on the next Warren Sapp, would I give up two firsts and a second...in a heartbeat.

The obvious problem is that Tampa Bay would never go for that deal in a million years.  To get Suh, the Colts would basically have to trade their entire draft this year AND their first two picks next year.  Oh, he would have to fall to third slot in order to make that work at all.

So, while deals like that are fun to speculate about, they are essentially impossible to pull off in the real world.  All this raises an interesting philosophical question:

Imagine a time traveling Colts fan came back from the year 2015 with an important message for Bill Polian about the 2010 draft.  He says that Ndamukong Suh is guaranteed to have the kind of career Warren Sapp had.  Now, armed with that infallible information, how much would Polian spend to acquire him?  The issue in the draft is risk.  If you KNEW a player would be great, you would give up a lot to acquire him.  However, barring an H.G. Wellsian development in the next several years, there is no way to be sure about any player.

This is probably the question I would most like to ask the Big Man.  If you knew a player would be a Hall of Famer at a position you needed (and no one else had that information), how much would you give up to acquire him?

Too bad two firsts and a second wouldn't be nearly enough.

We don't have to like it, but the facts cannot be ignored.

Indiana isn't a basketball state anymore.

Until the past week, I was losing hope that it ever could be again.  In fact, in my forthcoming book Blue Blood, I think I make a pretty good case for how the Colts have usurped hoops as the top dog in Indiana.  I'm not going to step on the book, but there's plenty of good evidence for the claim.  It's certainly something that you've heard the Colts players saying in recent months.

For all the misty eyed stories about Hoosiers and hardwood, the simple truth is that when the IHSAA killed our tournament after the 1997 season, they cut out the heart of Indiana basketball. Basketball on every level of the state has shown serious regression in recent years, but you can trace it all back to that fateful and utterly indefensible act of vandalism to the La Boheme of basketball.  (Hey! Know what will be great?  Let's give it a new ending with less tragedy and more winners! No need for the little guys to suffer. Everyone will love it!  We'll call it multi-class opera.  What?  No one wants to see it?  Oh well, at least the actors are happier!).

News that 30,000 showed up to watch Butler practice gives me hope.  Maybe the Hoosier state is still a sleeping giant when it comes to hoops. Maybe the kind of passion that filled the Hoosier Dome for high school players, lifted the Pacers to new heights and put at least four Indiana schools in the NCAA Tournament ten times in 18 years can be rekindled. Butler could do it, if only...

The low point of ignominy was 2005.  Not only did we endure the last season of Reggie Miller and the aftermath of the brawl, but no Indiana school made the NCAA tournament for the first time since 1972.  Since then, Purdue finally found their footing and is back to being basically as good as they ever were.  Notre Dame is more or less back as well.  Indiana is still recovering from their ill advised deal with the devil, but the real heartbeat of Indiana basketball still has not returned.  The innumerable mid-majors for which all Hoosiers root have fallen on hard times.

Ball State?  State of disrepair.  Valpo?  Alpo.  Evansville?  Nowheresville.  ISU?  MIA.  IUPUI?  IOU.  I don't know if it's cyclical or if there just isn't enough homegrown talent to go around any more, but we are a long way from sending six teams back to the tournament like we did in 2000.

Ah, but Butler...Butler has taken up the mantle as the standard bearer of true Indiana basketball for all of us.  They play "The Butler Way", that is to say, the way the game is supposed to be played.  The Bulldogs have a chance to spark a true renaissance of basketball passion this weekend.  Tonight, they have the chance to transform The Luke into a real landmark in Indiana.  Lucas Oil Stadium has yet to earn its chops as a part of the fabric of the city.  It looks the part, and the Colts have certainly done their part to break it in, but it's Butler that could make the building hallowed ground if only...

Butler is trying to give us all heart transplant. It's not a new heart, though.  They are trying to undue the damage caused by meddling middle managers who ripped the ticker out of our collective chest back in '97, replacing it with an artificial heart incapable of pumping the life blood of Indiana to all the extremities of the state.  We survived, finding our solace instead in football, but it's been like something was wrong, dead, broken about being a sports fan but not being able to care about basketball.

A decade of decay, betrayl and defeat for all Hoosiers can be reversed.  History can get a major rewrite.  Butler can do it.  Maybe they already have.

Butler can do it.

If only...

I admit it.  I don't do a lot of draft coverage.  The reason?

When it comes to the Colts, it's all just talk.

There are at least four prime reasons the Colts defy the draft experts every year.

1.  The Colts use their own scouts.

I know this sounds like something every team does, but it's not.  In fact, most of the teams in the NFL use a group scouting service that feeds information to all the teams that help pay for it.  There are two primary scouting bodies in the NFL (BLESTO and The National).  Together they service 25 of the 32 teams.  Only the Colts, Pats, Ravens, Bears, Browns, Raiders, and Redskins employ their own scouting staffs.

The result is that Indy often has different grades on players than the rest of the league.  That's not just because the Colts are looking for different things (they are), but also because the Colts are using a different set of eyes than most of the other teams.

2.  The Colts aren't afraid to trade, but they don't always trade.

There is simply no way to predict trades in the NFL.  We know the Colts are willing to wheel and deal in the first two rounds, having moved down in 2001 and 2004 to draft Reggie Wayne and Bob Sanders and moved up to draft Ugoh in 2007.  The Colts like who they like, and if they think that player is available to them in a later slot, they will trade down to get him.  However, lots of people thought the Colts should have moved down in 2002 before drafting Dwight Freeney.  The Colts knew that Freeney was a hotter prospect than the experts assumed, however, so they didn't deal down, and just took the passer rusher.

The moral of this story is that you can't trust the Colts to always do the same thing every time.  Bill Polian will deal if he feels there's value in it, but won't trade just because other people think he should.  The Colts keep a bead on what other teams plan on doing as well, so they have a feel for whether or not the guys they target will be available to them.

3.  The Colts use a secret metric to evaluate players.

Scouting is great, but the Colts focus on acquiring undervalued talents.  To that end, they employ a mathematical system that players must measure up to in order to be considered for selection.  In other words, it doesn't matter what any media draft expert thinks about a player, unless he has access to the Colts 'secret sauce' he has no way of knowing whether Indy would even consider the guy.  Because the Colts' entire philosophy is based on valuing what other teams don't, Indy is always going to be going against the grain.  Mel Kiper could know for a fact that 25 other teams love a player, but that would have no bearing on how the Colts' feel about him.  The operative word in Indianapolis is 'value'.

4.  Need doesn't enter into it.

That's perhaps a little overstating it.  In the past, Polian has talked about the draft in terms of the intersection of talent and need.  In other words, if a player is super talented, it doesn't matter if the team needs him or not.  This philosophy directly led to the selections of Reggie Wayne and Dallas Clark.  At a time when most of the league expected the Colts to draft for defense, Indy went with the best players available.  You could argue that this is why Don Brown and not Ziggy Hood is a Colt today.  You just can't look at the Colts roster, guess at a weak spot and figure they have to fill it in the first round of the draft.  The Colts do address trouble areas through the draft, but if they feel they have a chance to draft a more talented, more valuable player, they'll do it.  They aren't slaves to the 'need board'.

****

Having said of that, I've never had a harder time figuring out what the Colts will do than I have this year.  Two years ago, a lot of us were hoping for Anthony Gonzalez.  Last year, we guessed that the Colts would go DT, RB in the first two rounds, and they went RB, DT.  This year, the only thing the Colts really need is new offensive tackles.  However, because the recent record for the Horse in drafting offensive lineman hasn't been strong, it's hard to get too excited about a new crop of projects.

My Best Guess:  Ultimately, my best guess is that the Colts have a bead on a left tackle.  I believe they cut Lilja planning to move CJ to guard, and I think they did that because they think there will be a good LT option at 31.

What I Expect:  I believe the Colts will draft at least two corners during this draft, but I would be surprised if either them come in the first two rounds.  Since 2002, the Colts have drafted at least two defensive backs in every draft but 2008 (0) and 2009 (1-Powers in the third round).  The Colts need another corner or two, but they love to get 'value' with those picks, so look for them to spend later round picks on corners.

What Won't Surprise Me:  I haven't seen any player in any mock draft that screams "I'm a Colt!" the way Gonzo did.  I don't know, but this smells like a deal down kind of year.

What Will Suprise Me:  If the Colts trade up.  Someone wrote me last week (a fan of another team), saying the Colts should trade way up and go for Suh.  I said, "Sure, if they'll take the this year's 1 and 2 and next year's 1.  Otherwise, forget it."  If the Colts do have their eye on someone and they feel like they can't get him without moving up, they'll pull the trigger.  I just don't see that guy out there right now, though.  If he is there, I'd guess he was a pass rusher.

What I Secretly Hope For:  A new tight end.  I know.  Too many weapons already, but I look at Dallas Clark and the career numbers for tight ends and they tend to drop off fast.  I have my doubts about Dallas's ability to be productive much past the 2011 season.  I would shed no tears if the Colts nabbed his replacement now.  If the Colts see an oddball TE that they think can become a dynamic weapon in the passing game, they should take him.

Listen, I hate Tom Brady as much as you do, but I wasn't about to turn down the chance to ask one of the iconic stars of the NFL some questions. Don't judge me, you'd do the same thing in my shoes.

Anyway, here's what the hated field general had to say to us:

1.  Tom, thanks for answering our questions.  First, what's the toughest part of the game for you?

TB:  I would have to say it's all the attention off the field. On the field, I'm just one of the guys, but off the field, I have a lot of people clamoring for my time and image.  I attribute that to smelling great, and I attribute smelling great to Stetson.  It gives me that "cowboy musk" that really helps me throw for the touchdowns.

2.  You and Randy Moss have developed a tight relationship.  Do you hang out together off the field?

TB: Not so much, I'd say we have different interests, which is healthy for a team.  I've asked him to come along when Volmer and I go shopping for chaps, but he's just not into it.  That's ok, it doesn't affect how easy it is to throw Randy in the endzone.

3.  What's fatherhood been like for you?

TB:  It's great.  I've actually learned a lot more about motherhood though from helping to give birth to a whole new line of scents by Stetson.  Having kids is a blessing, but so is working with the great olfactory artists at Stetson labs.  Our newest creation is called Vaquero.  It's got the same rich tones of the original Stetson, but also has just a hint of salsa.

4.  Where do you keep your Super Bowl rings?

TB:  I have a display case where I keep all my favorite rings.  Some times I get them all out and have a ring party.  I'll wear up to 21 rings at once!

5.  If you weren't a football player, what would you be?

TB:  A rapper.  Rap is my first love.

6.  Imagine you win the Super Bowl this year.  How will you celebrate?

TB:  I'll just chill out with Gisele and some close friends.  We'll toast with some champagne.  Whatever we do, it'll blow your mind how I celebrate in such a normal, relateable way.

7.  How do you handle criticism?

TB:  I use it as motivation.  Some times things people say are really unfair.  What really gets me is when people throw around innuendo or homosexual slurs about me.  That kind of stereotyping and hate speech is never funny.  Unless it's done by Sean Hayes.  Then it's hilarious!

8. What's your favorite memory?

TB:  It has to be that one episode where Jack and Rosario get married.

9.  I mean on the football field...

TB:  Oh yeah, of course.  I know this will sound weird, but one time I threw a short touchdown to Wes, and he spiked the ball, and it bounced up and hit him in the crotch.  It was hilarious.  We all laughed about it for the rest of the game.  After the game, we all bounced balls off our crotches.  That's what life is about.  Celebrating in totally relateable ways, you know?

10.  Are you worried about replacing Wes Welker's production next year?

TB:  Yeah, at first I was freaking out, then Bill, said calm down.  We still have Julian.  And I was like, the team chef? And he was like, 'No, Edelman'.  And I was like, we have a guy named Julian Edelman?  But then I was like, hey, that's perfect.  If anyone could replace Wes Welker it would be Julian Edelman, right?

11.  You get the Colts in Foxboro this year.  Excited?

TB: Very.  My boy Peyton and I are on the outs right now.  I wanted him to do a charity video with me, but he turned it down.  I mean, what's wrong with "I'm a little bit country and I'm a little bit street"!  And it would have benefited a great cause.  Greater Boston Kid Relief.

12.  Wow, that's great that you want to help children.

TB: No, not children baby goats.

***

Ah.  of course.

Thanks to Tom Brady.  I've never met a more relateable guy.