2011 Year in Review-An Homage to Community and Parks and Recreation
Nate Dunlevy checks in with his annual pop culture review of the NFL Standings.
It's time to look back on on 2011.
I have a long complicated history with the NFL. I missed out doing my annual preview this year because the story about Manning's surgery broke the weekend I was planning on working on it.
Here's a look back on 2011 using two of my favorite shows as a template. If you aren't watching Community and Parks and Recreation then you are missing out on two of the funniest shows in years.
AFC-Parks and Recreation
| Record | Character | Quote | |||
| New England | 13-3 | Tammy II |  |
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"I can smell the sulfur coming off her cloven hooves" |
| New York | 8-8 | Tom Haverford |  |
"At the risk bragging, one of the things I'm best at is riding coattails. Behind every successful man is me smiling and taking partial credit" |
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| Miami | 6-10 | Jean Ralphio |  |
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"I hope you brought a change of clothes because your eyes are about to piss tears." |
| Buffalo | 6-10 | Mark Brendanawicz |
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"I hit rock bottom that night. I mean I literally fell to the bottom of a pit and hit a rock. I remember laying there thinking, there's probably a good reason why I'm down here. And then I remember thinking I need morphine." |
| Record | Character | Quote | |||
| Houston | 10-6 | Andy Dwyer |  |
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"When life gives you lemons make lemonade. I read that one on a can of lemonade. I like to think it applies to life." |
| Tennessee | 9-7 | Ann Perkins |  |
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"I loved Andy. Loved him. Loved Andy. He was a totally helpless baby when we met. I dated him for three years. Now he's an adult with a job. And some other girl is going to reap the rewards of my hard work? That's [expletive]." |
| Jacksonville | 5-11 | Jerry Gergich | .jpg) |
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"A schlemiel is the guy who spills soup at a fancy party. A schlamazel is the guy he spills it on. Jerry is both the schlemiel and the schlamazel of our office." |
| Indianapolis | 2-14 | Lil' Sebastian |  |
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And though we all miss you everyday... We know you're up there eating heaven's hay... And here's the part that hurts the most... Humans cannot ride a ghost |
| Record | Character | Quote | |||
| Baltimore | 12-4 | Leslie Knope |  |
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"Every great work of art contains a message, and the message of this painting is, "Get out of my way unless you want an arrow in your ass." |
| Pittsburgh | 12-4 | Ron Swanson |  |
"My first day of college my father dropped me off at the steel mill. He didn't think I should go to college, but I hitched a ride, enrolled, and learned a lot." |
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| Cincinnati | 9-7 | Ben Wyatt |  |
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"I was completely flustered, I came off like an idiot. I mean, at one point, for no reason, I just took off my shoes and held them in my hand." |
| Cleveland | 6-10 | Sewage Joe |
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"Joe, you work in sewage. Your department literally specializes in crap. You really want to do this?" |
| Record | Character | Quote | |||
| Denver | 8-8 | Chris Trager |  |
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You're beautiful! On the inside... where your spirit lives. |
| Oakland |
8-8 | Perd Hapley |  |
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"I'm Perd Hapley and the story of this next dance is that it's called The Worm!" |
| San Diego | 8-8 | April Ludgate |  |
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"God, why does everything we do have to be cloaked in like 15 layers of irony?" |
| Kansas City | 7-9 | Donna Meagal |
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"I'm down to one word a minute and the word is Peflipifisclump" |
NFC-Community
| Record | Character | Obvservation or Quote | |||
| New York | 9-7 | Annie's Boobs |  |
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| Philadelphia | 8-8 | Starburns |  |
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The stars...just don't cut it. |
| Dallas | 8-8 | Britta Perry |  |
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"Knock, knock. Who's there? Cancer. Oh good, come on in, I thought it was Britta!" |
| Washington | 5-11 | Pierce Hawthorne |
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"I was never one to hold a grudge, Jeffrey. My father held grudges. I'll always hate him for that." |
| Record | Character | Observation or Quote | |||
| New Orleans | 13-3 | Abed Nadir |
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"Like the movie "Can't Buy Me Love". You're going to change me from zero to hero, geek to chic." |
| Atlanta | 10-6 | Vaugn Miller |  |
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"Everyone's my bro, because we're all connected. Sharks, eagles, hats." |
| Carolina | 6-10 | Troy Barns |
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Jeff Winger: I'm locked out of my old kingdom. You're not. You see what I'm saying? |
| Tampa Bay | 4-12 | Ian Duncan |
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I really just thought he'd be...better. |
| Record | Character | Quote or Obvservation | |||
| Green Bay | 15-1 | Jeff Winger |
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"I don't step up to being leader, Troy. I reluctantly accept it when it's thrust upon me." |
| Detroit | 10-6 | Annie Edison |
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Troy: I know chemistry is sexy, but Annie? I don't see it. |
| Chicago | 8-8 | Dean Robert Laybourn |
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I know. It was a little on the nose. |
| Minnesota | 3-13 | Fat Neil |
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Deserves our pity. |
| Record | Character | Observation or Quote | |||
| San Francisco | 13-3 | Dean Pealton |  |
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"And to think I let him captain my magic carpet in my dream last night." |
| Arizona | 8-8 | Luis Guzman |  |
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Only a star to the locals. |
| Seattle | 7-9 | Greendale Human Being |  |
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Underwhelming and generic. |
| St. Louis | 2-14 | Chang |
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"It's a scary, Chang-filled world out there." |
Haven't seen Parks and Rec (which I will get to at some point), but the Community ones were brilliant. All of them. the only one I have slight disagreement is Duncan, who I think is used just enough. If you use him too much, it could come on too much, a lot like what I think happened with student Chang.
Nate, As always, awesome. It was your Star Wars predictions that first alerted me to the presence of the Zombie brothers at 18to88. And I thought this was funny, I really did, but since the only TV I ever watch is NFL (plus some NFL highlights, maybe 3-4 NCAA FB games a year--I think Arrested Development was the last thing I watched somewhat regularly because it came on, of course, Sunday nights after football), I only get about 25% of the humor. Some day I will catch up to this and your Lost writeup, when I retire, give up reading and doing stuff (hard to belt-sand in front of the TV). Until then, the 25% is pretty darn good as it is.
This is some really crazy ... And I loved every line of it! You managed to give me a whole new perspective on one of my favorite shows (Community), that I didn't think anyone else was watching. It took me a while to get into P&R, it just looked too much like an Office ripoff. But eventually I realized that wasn't a bad thing.
Thanks for a bright spot in such a dark season.
I've been thinking about trying one of these after the playoffs end up using The Wire.
Only one I have really locked in that I love is the Raiders are definitely Ziggy Sobotka.
@Shake1n1bake I would love a Wire one. You could probably do one for S1-3 of the Wire (The Barksdale era) and the S4-5 era (The Stanfield Era). So many great characters.
Such a tragic, perpetual comedy of errors is perfect for a Raiders season that set NFL records in penalties and penalty yardage and sold the farm for Carson Palmer.
First of all, this rivals anything you have EVER done. (Including the 88 reasons to hate the Patriots.)
Everyone is simply brilliant. (But pulling out Lil Sebastian for the Colts and Tammy II for the Pats... that was some inspired genius.)
So I am very wary when I ask this... for Buffalo, the quote you attribute to Mark, sure sounds like Andy to me. But I'm sure you are right and I am wrong.
@DougEngland End of season 1, Mark gets drunk and falls down into the pit after kissing leslie.
Yeah, it hit me right after I posted it. (I was just remembering that Andy had lived in that pit for a while.)
And one no one has highlighted it yet... Chris Trager for Tebow is perfect.
I haven't watched Parks & Rec, but the Community ones were great. I did notice though, that Baltimore has a 12-14 record. I didn't realize they got sent to some alternate dimension where NFL seasons are 26 games. I'd comment on a losing record putting them at the top of their division, but since that's already happened before....:)
@flores_salicis You need to get on the Parks and Rec train. First 10-15 eps were sub par, but middle of the second season on, it became hilarious. It's an amazing show.
@Freeneysalwaysheld Nice idea, but it takes about 4-6 hours to put one of these together. I'm spent.
I'd read one and think "that's perfect, so perfect - it's my favorite" and then I'd read the next one and immediately have a new favorite. Nice work. Again.
You know what this means right? That not only will the crowd be clamoring for the return of the pre-season predictions next year, but we must have the year in review as well. Every year.
